Do this when you’re missing goal after goal
When you’ve been working your a** off, it feel’s demoralizing to not achieve your goals.
But no matter how bad you feel, you must resist the urge to beat yourself up.
The secret to success is learning to be kind to yourself even amidst failure.
This is the opposite reaction from the one that most of us have.
You’re likely being way too hard on yourself. And it’s costing you more than you know.
You’ll know you’re being too hard on yourself when:
You can’t see the momentum you’ve built
You can’t see how you’ve been showing up for yourself / others
You can’t appreciate the miracle it takes to get out of bed every morning
You focus entirely on the deficit and not at all on what you’ve learned or created
These are all signs of a shame spiral.
When you’re in a shame spiral, you can’t see that every single misstep and unmet expectation has been shaping you into who you are today – the person who will ultimately get where you’re trying to go.
You can’t see the tremendous momentum you’ve created because the challenge of creating that momentum was so great.
Don’t allow your goals to become a weapon against yourself.
It’s hard enough to take action toward the future. Beating yourself up in the process makes it nearly impossible.
It’s like beating a horse while it’s already down – INHUMANE! And it doesn’t work, even though society loves to convince us otherwise.
If your immediate next thought is, “But Chris, I’m not actually doing a good job,” you’re proving my point perfectly – which is that you are totally blind to the areas of life where you are showing up powerfully.
Your brain literally spends all day gathering evidence of things you’re doing wrong. That’s it’s job, but it can also turn into an insidious form of self sabotage.
You likely don’t need to be reminded of your shortcomings because you’re already hyper aware of them.
Instead, you need to consciously remind yourself of what’s working – of all that you’ve created and who you’ve become in the process.
This is a life skill – noticing what’s working and focusing on it even when your brain wants you to do the opposite.
Easier said than done… but NECESSARY!
Hang in there!
Chris
Thanks For Reading!
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