How to handle burnout (without burning out)
This subject line feels a little bit like the movie Inception…
How to address burnout without burning out.
Because if you’re a hard-working professional, your instinct is usually to do more.
But in the case of burnout, doing more will only exacerbate the problem.
The solution is to scale back.
So why don’t you?
The answer will require you to look inward and do some reflection.
Here’s a three step process to help you get going:
1- Ask, “Why am I working so hard?”
Get real with yourself.
You’re likely afraid of something or trying to avoid a consequence of some sort.
Get as specific as you can.
It’s not enough to say, “I don’t want to let others down.”
Go a step further.
Why don’t you want to let others down?
What is the worst case scenario that you’re trying to avoid?
Here is a little exercise to assist. Fill in the blanks below:
“I’m overworking in order to get ______ and avoid ______.”
Here’s my own answer:
“I’m overworking in order to get praise and adoration and avoid being punished or abandoned.”
Wait, did I just pull out the old “abandonment” trope?
Sure did!
And I’m inviting you to take a look for yourself as well 💁
Your answer might not be an “abandonment” per se.
But it should feel heavy-hitting / weighty.
So look inward and figure out what feels right to you.
Once you have, do this:
2- Ask, “Am I really getting the thing I want by overworking? And is it really helping me to avoid that thing I’m trying to avoid?”
Are you truly in danger if you give less to your job?
Will there be a consequence if you pull back?
Once again get real with yourself.
Notice whether overworking is working as well as you think it is.
Once you’ve done this, it’s time for the rubber to hit the road.
3- Start giving less and less to your job.
Reclaim your time. Practice saying no. See what happens.
Commit to closing your laptop at 5pm every day.
Does anything change?
Does anyone notice?
Or does everything continue like normal?
And if people do notice, are you actually in danger?
Start gathering evidence that you are ok even if you don’t give 110%.
This is all very straightforward advice.
But it’s easier said than done.
Because humans are complex.
From the golden child to the scapegoat, office dynamics often mirror those of families.
The workplace is filled with dysfunction: manipulation, gaslighting, unrealistic expectations, blame, the list goes on.
And if you’re a people pleaser, you’ll do almost anything to avoid letting others down.
Even if making them happy means running yourself into the ground.
Which is why it’s critical that you learn to set boundaries and pull back.
It’s up to you to step outside of the dysfunction and stop participating in the dynamic.
It might feel so terrifying to make changes.
But you’ll gain freedom in the process.
And that reward is well worth the discomfort.
Thanks For Reading!
I am on a mission to help driven people find clarity in the fast lane – making great money doing work they love, on their own terms.
Not sure what you want? Or feel stuck? Get clear on your life and career in five days – a free training delivered straight to your inbox.
Want a promotion or pay increase? Sign up for my free monthly training. I’ve helped hundreds of clients increase their annual income by $50,000+. If they can do it, you can too.
If you’d like to support my work, the best ways are to:
Refer clients to me - I run a business fueled almost entirely by referrals. I coach individuals, couples, and groups. I’m happy to offer complimentary sample sessions to anyone you refer.
Subscribe to my podcast on Apple or Spotify, and leave a review.
Forward my blog to a coworker or friend - introduce them to me :)